Star Frog: Assault
by Clockwork Oranges
Summary: In order to rescue their captive comrade, Private Slippy Toad and the other members of his corps are sent on a dangerous mission.


**Star Frog Assault**

"MOVE MOVE MOVE" Colonel Ridley screamed, leading the charge for his units of the SAS (Super Action Soldiers) as they swarmed onto the beaches of Baughettetopia.

"HE'S GOT NO LEGS!" Private Slippy yelled at the Colonel.

"JESUS!" Ridley beckoned as he saw the mangled body of Sergeant Major Mike Dawson of Dark Seed Fame.

"It's not that bad is it guv'?" Said Sergeant Major Mike Dawson of Dark Seed Fame looking desperate.

"Course' not chap" Slippy told his fellow soldier

"The Jerry's will regret the day they messed with the Super Action Soldiers!"

"You can save this little kumbaya for later children, someone get that sod out of the ditch!" Colonel Ridley ordered his men "Pigma, grab im' son!"

The soldiers looked round, Private Pigma was no where to be seen

"Where is that rapscallion?" Said Slippy curiously

"Gentleman, I believe that is our fellow comrade trying to swim back across the divide to great old blighty" Said Cranky Kong.

"PIGMA GET BACK ERE' YOU OL PORK SCRATCHING" Ridley cawed at the soldier.

"Wait...Wheres K?" Slippy questioned.

Suddenly out of the water Pigma's boat was lifted into the air as King K Rool threw Pigma back onto the shore face first into the sand

"Jolly Ho my lifelong incredibly heterosexual partner of who I have had no relations of an intimate nature with" Regarded Cranky Kong to his friend and nothing else.

"Eyy up fellas and my famalamadingdong of who I neva' bummed Cranky" King K Rool gracefully said to fellow men

"Luv' the reunion son, but we gotta shift Sergeant Major Mike Dawson of Dark Seed Fame outta' this stove before the Jerry's turn us into Swiss cheese, Pigma, pick him up or I'll shoot your fat arse ere' myself" Commanded Colonel Ridley

"Shit-tits" Regarded Pigma and he slowly removed himself from the sand to pick up Sergeant Major Mike Dawson of Dark Seed Fame.

"Tell me I'll live to see the bastard who killed Rita?!" Sergeant Major Mike Dawson of Dark Seed Fame mentioned

"Can't do sunny, I'm not bloody make-a-wish and your my ticket to bullet protection from the Jerry's!" Pigma stated with menace.

* * *

><p>They all ran towards a small trench located a bit further, as Slippy ran at the front of his fellow SAS soldiers he saw the horrors of war, friends, comrades and brothers getting gunned down one by one. Cory Baxter, bleeding from the throat. Naoto Shriagane holding back Yu Narukami as he tried to rush to the corspe of now armless Nanako. Ainsley Harriet, drowned in a pool of blood and pepper. DSP screaming "WOW" at the unfair accuracy of the Jerry's as they pound him with repeated fire. And Omid, staring down at his chest, realizing that he had been shot...in the heart. Again.<p>

Slippy was the verge on the tears, but the only thought that kept him running was it if he didn't he would join them and if that happened they could never save...Private Kojima.

* * *

><p>In the cave the troops were laying down their weapons, Pigma threw the heavily wounded Sergeant Major Mike Dawson of Dark Seed Fame onto the cold wet floor<p>

"Do you mind you ball bag" Sergeant Major Mike Dawson of Dark Seed Fame stated to his overgrown pig companion

"Is' nothing luv" Pigma smiled to him.

"He needs medical attention urgently chaps" Slippy told the men

"But what ever shall we do? None of us have any medical qualifications or degrees to certify we are able to proceed with any operations or conduct to help save the life of Sergeant Major Mike Dawson of Dark Seed Fame" Said Cranky Kong

"Aye ee's got a point ye know lads, although I know my perfectly straight not a bender friend is very good with is' eyes and can do checkups" King K Rool complimented his friend

"And you've rather dexterous fingers" Cranky Kong complimented back

"All right knob jockeys now's not the time, where can we find a doctor!" Screamed Colonel Ridley

A shadow appeared from the light behind them, all the troops were blinded, they couldn't reach their guns in time, even then they knew he wasn't a threat from his posture, standing tall and proud with no weapon in sight. All they could hear was the rustling of a chocolate bar.

"Alright kids, whats the sitch?" Doc Louis asked the boys

"Doctor, hes lost his legs and needs medical attention urgently!" Bellowed Slippy

"Don't worry Short-stuff, the Doc's helped with worse, all he needs is a little motivation" Calmly explained Doc Louis

"Bloody ell' I'll take anything at this point" Colonel Ridley submitted.

You got heart, kid. That's what it takes to be a champ." Doc Louis assured Sergeant Major Mike Dawson of Dark Seed Fame

"There are many ways to eat a chocolate, but there is only one way to eat a chocolate bar." Sergeant Major Mike Dawson of Dark Seed Fame started to moan less

"Hey kid, tell me something, isn't it past your bed time? Ha ha! Don't worry, I won't tell anyone" And suddenly Sergeant Major Mike Dawson of Dark Seed Fame started laughing ignoring the pain.

"What's your favorite flower son? Mine's chocolate!" This brought Mike Dawson to rise on his stumps ignoring the presumable agonizing pain he must be going through.

"All it took fellas was a little bit of Doc's Chocolate Wisdom" He smugly stated to his inferiors.

As the crew gave a hearty a laugh they saw another shadow rise into the light, this time with a weapon drawn. Before they could jump to their weapons in time a single bullet was heard, they all fired their weapons at the Jerry, killing him quite assuredly. They all smiled knowing that no one had been hit until they heard someone coughing. Sergeant Major Mike Dawson of Dark Seed Fame...had been shot in the heart.

"No, don't die you speccy twat!" Cried Pigma

"Friends...don't mourn for me, I'll see you over the horizon...Rita..."The Late Sergeant Major Mike Dawson of Dark Seed Fame closed his eyes, he was dead.

"I can't believe he died, bloody ell' he was one of me best" Colonel Ridley confessed

"And what bugger woulda' predicted a German would off im'" Pigma proclaimed

"German? Pigma we haven't been fighting the German's we've been at war with the Jerry S-" Cranky was cut off, a second bullet was heard. Colonel Ridley fell to the floor. Slippy dove to him trying to stop his fall.

"Hold on chief, don't you die on me!" Slippy cried, as manly amphibian tears streamed down his face.

Pigma's eyes immediately darted right to observe the shooter, there were many shadows, they stepped forward, all looking exactly the same, no differences between them...

"Clones...oh my god Cranky you meant...CLONES OF JERRY SEINFELD!?"


End file.
